What the hell are you talking about?!

Ok, I don't think my writing is all that hard to decipher, but for those of you who have no idea what in the hell I'm talking about, here's a quick glossary. In alphabetical order.

Aaron Samuel: Aaron's one bad motherfucker..

Adam Gitner: Adam and I have known each other for about ten years, I think. He's definitely one of the most knowledgeable people I know. We also went to Camp Ramah together for seven years, so we have quite a few inside jokes to laugh about.

Adam Mittleman: Adam sports the biggest whiteboy fro since Gabe Kaplan.

Alex: Alex has eternal shotgun in Jonesy's car (green '92 Ford Tempo)..

Ally: Most theatrical female... or was it "most dramatic?"

Alyssa: Alyssa and I go way back. As toddlers, we were in a playgroup together. Now we're good friends.

Amanda: She moved here from Chicago, so naturally I feel it's my duty to harass her about the Bulls.

Anastasia: Since I have nothing to say to this girl, I really don't have much to say about her.

Aunt Rhoda and Uncle Don: My mom's aunt and uncle. They're always fun to be with. They live in Long Island, NY right now, but they'll be moving to Florida soon.

Aunt Susan: My dad's younger sister. She's one of my coolest aunts.

Avi: Avi turned me onto the Star Wars Roleplaying Game. That was the final little push that made me a Star Wars nut, so you've all got Avi to thank.

Barak: My roommate and friend from back home.

Ben: Ben's a cowboy. It doesn't get much cooler than that.

Bob: Bob's a former chess champion, powerlifter, and used to be a manager at Barnes and Noble. He plays drums in a rock group. And he's a grandfather.

Brent: Brent was hired at about the same time I was, so we went through training together. I miss Brent.

Brian Jones, or "Jonesy": Jonesy plays tenor sax in the Minutemen Marching Band. I love you, Jonesy!

My Car: A red, rust-ridden, 1990 Chevy Cavalier. I have yet to name her, but I'll let you know when I do.

Christie: Patrick's girlfriend.

Dan Bates: Dan's a big Star Wars nut, like me. The only difference is he reads the novels.

Dan-David Spielman: I met Dan-David when we were in kindergarten, and since then we've been like family. The Spielmans moved to Israel about six years ago, but we've kept in close contact.

Elia: How many Russian EMTs do you know?

Ericandemi: The Ericandemi unit is made up of two factions: Eric and Emi.

Framingham: My hometown. I've learned to both love and hate Framingham.

Fuller: One of two middleschools in Framingham. This is the better of the two. I went to Fuller.

Gabe: He and James turned me on to Brazilian music.

James Butler: He and Gabe turned me on to Brazilian music.

Jay: Jay's one of the most calm, well-mannered guys I know.

Jeff B.: Saxmaster.

Jeff Brown: Jeff Brown is supersaturated, 100% of your daily recommended dosage of Jeff Brown.

Jeff C.: The resident Seinfeld nut.

Jeff W.: I wish I knew as much kung fu as Jeff Wu.

Jenna: Jenna was one of my favorite freshmen. She baked us cookies.

Jin-Ho King: In a class all his own.

Kitty: If you're going to invite anyone to a party, invite Kitty.

Mallrats, the: The punk band Sal and I started.

Mike Menaker: Mike's the psycho who moved to Seattle and came back to visit us a few times.

Mike Croci: Croci's a crazy guy.

Mike Drummey: Drummey v1.0.

Mike Wong: Mike's the second- skinniest kid I know.

Mr. Coleman: Mr. Coleman was my geometry teacher sophomore year.

Mr. Perrone: FHS's mafioso band teacher.

Mr. Sicotte: Mr. Sicotte's the teacher advisor for "Reflections," the school literary magazine.

Mr. Sosny: My former English teacher and Dustin Hoffman look-alike. He teaches all the acting classes and directs the plays (sans the compets) at FHS.

M. Tobar: My former French teacher and Jon Lovitz look-alike.

Ms. Dainoff: As it turns out, she grew up in the same town as Doris Kerns Goodwin (although years apart). And she went with us to Russia.

Ms. Sakata: "I'm sure you've all taken my name in vain..."

Natick: The rival town. Even their mascot sucks (the Redmen).

The Natick Mall: Despite having a lousy football team, Natick does have a decent mall.

Needham: One of the neighboring towns in the area. Regardless of the fact that it's an affluent town, their football field only has one set of bleachers.

Nina: Kicked me in the balls once, when we were drunk.

Pablo and Dave: The two guys I used to work with. Pablo worked there, and Dave was my boss. Dave has since taken his life, and Pablo has since been fired.

Patrick Levin: Sky.

Reflections: The school 'zine.

Rita: Her middle name is Mae.

Sal: The Roadkill was once fined for carrying a broken skateboard.

Sarah G.: We got to know one another through e-mails my freshman year; once she got to high school, it seemed kind of silly to send e-mails since we were both in the same school. Consequently, I haven't spoken to her in years.

Seth: The Minnesotan at work. He was the only guy there my age until he moved back to Minnesota in late August 1999.

Suhabe: Suhabe's become a really good friend of mine since sixth grade.

Three Cent Thrill: The ten- piece swing band I play in. I'm not going to bother with the roster.

Tina: I have little to say about this girl, as well, aside from the fact that her name is not Tina and I don't know why we call her that.

Toby: Toby used to be one of my friends at work, until he quit. He knows more about comic books than I do about Star Wars. It's scary in a way.

Uncle Cheung's: The best damn Chinese food in the area. This is by far one of my favorite restaurants.

Walter: Walter is Aunt Susan's boyfriend. He's a physics professor at MIT.

Wendy: Wendy is the creator of such great journals as porkfriedlove and Please kill me.

Young: Young was another one of my friends at work. Like many others, he had the sense to leave and not return.

Ok, those are all the names/places I can think of off the top of my head. I'll be adding names as I feel that they're necessary. If there's anything else you're still in the dark about, drop me a line.

omnibus
strangelove

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